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Take A Walk Around The Block

It's one of my favorite metaphors.

I'm not talking about physically moving. I'm talking about unloading your mind of all the bullshit you're carrying.

Take everything out of your brain and relieve that anxiety.

This is perfect if you're over an over-thinker, you're dwelling too much on something, you're figuring out if you like someone, you're deciding whether or not to end a relationship/friendship... the list goes on.

Relationships (especially long ones) and friendships are bound to have their ebbs and flows. They're not going to be perfect 100% of the time.

Because of this, you are bound to doubt. Doubt yourself, your partner, your relationship, whatever.

Doubts can be nasty. They can eat you up. They can become scary and turn into anger, or paranoia. They manifest themselves in different avenues of your life.

Having doubts is normal. Dwelling on them is what can hurt you, or someone else.

That's why I came up with the method I call "take a walk around the block."

How do we do it?

Step 1: Walk through the fire...

Write down, share with someone (someone you trust to be objective), or say aloud everything that is worrying you (about yourself, your relationship, your partner). Things you would change about them, yourself, your relationship/friendship, etc. all the negatives come first. Let all that shit out.

Be prepared to get a bit heated...that's normal. This is the muscle you're strengthening - getting heated and learning how to quickly let it go.

Step 2: Fly through the clouds...

Next you’re going to think about your dream life. You’re going to write down everything you wish you could have. Your dream person, your dream job, your materialistic wishes. What does that life look like? (do I hear Fabio in Spain, eating gelato?)

Step 3: Come back down to Earth...

Lastly, you are going to write down all of the things you are grateful for. All of the things you love about your partner/friend, your relationship, and yourself.

This all helps paint a picture of what you want, vs what you have, vs what society tells you is "perfect" and helps you get out all the worry.

It's not to say that everything is going to be easy and clean. You may realize some things you didn't want to realize.

In my case, it was a positive realization. I realized my boyfriend has a lot of the qualities I look for in a life partner. I was just too frustrated with being annoyed of ungrateful to see it.

We're not always going to realize our husband, friend, or partner is perfect. Because no one is. We're going to separate fantasy from reality and put aside our aggravations to see things more clearly.

You may be heated in the moment, you may see things you've been told to see by others or by social media, you may have clouded judgement because of hormones. (hey, it happens)

My point is, it's important to stay objective in your own relationship. It's important to see the bad, the good, the truth, and the lies. Seeing the big picture is so crucial for not making spur of the moment decisions based off of fear or emotion.

You may do something you regret and can't take back.

So, if you're having doubts about anything at all...or are frustrated, or mad, even if it's about something else not even your relationship... let's walk around the block.

xoxo, Crystal


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